Connect with us

The “Proper” Way To Breakup

Ahhh, Spring is here! The weather’s warmer, the flowers are in full bloom and, if you listen closely, you can hear the gentle sound of someone’s heart breaking. That’s right, the period of being booed up, we affectionately call, “Cuffing Season” has come to a close. Not only are the flowers are in full bloom, but your libido is as well. You’re ready to get out there and go a huntin’ for the first unsuspecting mammal in sundress or sweatpants. But hold on, tiger! Before you pounce, how about making sure your winter bae’s feelings are safely intact and you leave on a good note. To do this, you must learn the proper way to bid your boo, adieu!

There’s really not a better way to do this other than to just be a man or woman about it; in other words, keep it 100 and BE HONEST. ‘Winter Bae’ will respect you for this. They make not rock with you anymore and probably will never speak to you again, but at least they’ll respect you – and isn’t that what we all want at the end of the day? There are a couple of ways you can execute this. You can go the Donnell Jones, “Where I Wanna Be”, route and jedi-mind trick them to think that you jumping in the sea to check out other fish will only help your relationship. Only because you’ll be able to get all the lust and flirtatiousness out of you and you can fully be devoted to him or her. While the success rate and results may vary, I have seen it work on a couple of occasions with some friends of mine who will remain nameless to protect their necks.

Then there’s the “I Just Don’t Have Time to Be in A Relationship with All I Have Going on Right Now” route. You may have a lot on your plate like work, goals and other aspirations that take up a lot of space on your schedule to where you don’t have enough to give to them; and that’s not fair to either of you. Therefore, to avoid a potential explosion of a breakup down the line, it’s best to cut ties now and maybe see where you both are in the future and possibly rekindle.

Next is the foolproof, “Let’s Just Be Friends” approach. How many known that we could be better friends to Bae than a boyfriend or girlfriend? Letting this be known to Winter Bae makes the blow a little softer to bear and doesn’t make you look like a jerk.

All of these methods are much better than the popular Ghost method where you just become super distant and don’t answer calls or return text messages to where Winter Bae is left with no choice but to move on. Please have a little more respect for yourself and other party involved; it makes for a more harmonious world.

Thirst safely, my friends!

Click to comment

Should You Be Friends with Your Co-Workers?

Working a 9 to 5 can be tough, especially when struggling to balance work and social life.  Careers in Corporate America seem to give less time to see your closest friends and that opens the door for getting to know your co workers more. The transition can be tough, but conversing with your co workers can make your day fly by, and make adulting not so bad in a work environment. Although it can have its perks, you should be careful in crossing the line of professional and personal relationships.

Getting to know people in a professional atmosphere can be scary at times. When trying to keep your work relationships in check, there are a few things you should  consider before overstepping boundaries at work. For instance, You could be invited out to happy hour after work, just to vibe and get to know each other on a more personal level. After hanging out a few times each week, your co workers try to make it a consistent routine. Now here is where your dilemma starts. Fast forward into another week, Your co worker Renee ask you out for drinks once again, and you’re hesitant to politely decline or accept. You start to wonder what you’re getting yourself into and if you consider her a friend outside of work. One may prefer to keep their work and personal lives separate and aren’t as open to befriending their coworkers. When trying to build these relationships, it’s important to remember to never let efforts to become friends to ruin your professional connections. that needs to remain a top priority. If hanging out doesn’t happen naturally, Don’t force it! Always stay within your comfort level.

Becoming besties with your colleagues in certain settings may not be wise, but you don’t have to avoid office relationships completely either. A major key when forming relationships at work is to remember it’s all networking. Success in any field depends on the relationships we develop. The people you cross paths with when working, become apart of your network. Getting a mentor can also help excel in your career. Becoming close with a boss or manager in a higher department can be a excellent way to receive recommendations towards your future. Seeking mentorship with someone  can be beneficial and a good experience. Focus your relationship on learning professionally. Talk to him or her about your goals for your career and what you plan to build and excel in your field. Ask for advice on the types of jobs you wish to pursue and if you would be interested in a similar position. If you follow these steps and develop this relationship well, and this ultimately help you throughout your career!

There should always be fine line between professionalism and friendship. Always remember to consider boundaries and the proper protocol to follow in the workplace. I hope this was helpful to readers and help guide you on the right path. Well, Until next time!

Click to comment

10 Great Questions to Ask While Dating

Courting these days has gotten so sketchy, fickle, and damn near non-existent. We’re falling head over heels, ready to sell the farm for someone without getting the full rundown on them, then looking like “Boo Boo The Foo” l when the skeletons start to come out of the closet and their true self emanates. And what’s the one thing that we’re always saying in the end? “Had I known in the beginning….” Well, as my father used to say, an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. In other words, having more knowledge on a subject can help you better determine your next move. More specifically, asking the right questions of an aspiring mate makes all the difference between living happily ever after, dodging a bullet, or sobbing shoulda coulda wouldas. So, this article is going give you the questions you need to ask “Potential Bae” right out the gate to help you decide if you want to get in the car and take that ride or be like Tre, from Boyz N The Hood, and say “Lemme out, doe”.

Do You Have Kids?

A must to ask, not because it could be an automatic deterrent, but because it leads you, should you choose to go further, to ask the follow up question of what is his/her relationship with the mother/father. Knowing both makes for a smoother path down Relationship Road.

What is your Five-Year Plan?

Back in the day, this was a question I would scoff at like “How do I know what I’m going to do in five years?!” or “Anyone can “plan” what they want to do with their life, but does it actually happen?” But as I’ve grown, I’ve come to respect this question because now we are choosing for life, not just for a good time, and want something more concrete and realistic.

What are your religious views?

Because I doubt you’d want to bring an atheist or devil worshipper home to your God-fearing, Momma.

What is your living situation?

For this, I would caution you not to judge or be quick to run if he/she lives at home with a family member, it could be for various reasons. You’ll be able to decode the sincere ones with a plan from the fraud lame leeches.

What are your family values?

The mindset and family background can play a huge role in the relationship dynamic: How do they feel about marriage? Do they want kids? How’s their relationship with Mom/Dad/Parents? 

What are your financial goals? (How do you feel about budgeting? Saving?)

One of the main reasons for the demise of a relationship are finances. This question should be in your top 3.

Do you have many of friends of the opposite sex?

This is a good gauge test because there are many who aren’t cool with their mate fraternizing with them once they’re in a relationship and will want you to cut it back. You can then decide if YOU would be cool with that.

What are your political views?

If that’s not really your thing, do you at least vote?

What’s your vice?

Not that you’re judging, but that you just want to know what you’re getting into, because nowadays you must ask. This can range from smoking weed to swinging.

What are your interests?

The simplest question of all because you DO NOT want to end up with a weirdo who lives for Star Wars movies and Game of Thrones…not that there’s anything wrong with that. *smirk*

Click to comment

#ForgiveOrForget: Do You Stay When He Cheats?

“Hell to the no!”

“It depends on the situation…”

“I would stay the first time but anything after that and I’m done.”

We have all seen the social media sensation #HurtBae, with the guy confessing to his ex-girlfriend that he cheated on her countless times during their relationship for no apparent reason. Many women can relate to #HurtBae so it’s no secret that men cheat.

The question at hand is do we forgive or forget when he steps out? It’s easier to Monday night quarterback after the fact but what would you do if you found yourself in that situation?

Forgive Him! There are very few reasons to stay with a cheating man unless you have invested more in him than you are willing to throw away. Marriage will have you reconsidering things that you promised your younger self you would never put up with. It is much harder to break apart your family (especially with children) over a poor judgment call than it is to dump your loser #MCM. You can forgive him but don’t fail to remind him of what will happen the next time he forgets his vows. And don’t let him back in so easy, make him crawl back with his tail between his legs like the bad dog he has been.

Forget It! If he cheats and the relationship hasn’t made it through an entire calendar year, that may be a sign that you should let it go sis. Short term commitment is the prerequisite for longevity and clearly he is unprepared and not ready, NEXT! If he is a repeat offender and makes you cry more than he makes you smile, send him packing because he is playing games and doesn’t value you.  Even if you have been dating for three years and he slips up, you still may let it go because you don’t play those games and he has the wrong one. The ultimate deal breaker is when he cheats and has the other woman playing on your phone or coming to your workplace. Save the drama and move on.

Eh, It Depends… Depends on what? How long have you been together? Are you married or single? All of these things matter when you find yourself in the grey area of fighting for or letting go of your relationship. Some ladies may even question the motives of the individual he cheated with and blame them; other ladies blame themselves.  Was it physical, emotional, or both? If he hit it and quit it, staying doesn’t seem so bad but if they are sending “I miss you” texts then that’s a different story. The totality of circumstances is important when you are on the fence about your current task at hand.

Note: At the end of the day, be comfortable and confident in whatever choice you make sis, I am here for you.

Click to comment

3 Ways Singles Can Celebrate Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day!! Proposals are happening everywhere, bouquets of pink and red roses are clouding your co-workers’ desk, and it seem’s like Cupid’s arrow has struck everyone but you. Just because you don’t have boo or bae, doesn’t mean you have to sit out on the fun today. You love yourself, right?!? Then use today to celebrate it! Here are three ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a single person.

 

Girls: Galentine’s Day Anyone?

There are SO many ways for single ladies to celebrate today:

1. Grab your girls, a bottle of wine and have a movie marathon.
2. Do an in-house cooking class with a last minute deal from Groupon.
3. Turn on YouTube and have a full blown karaoke session.
4.Dress up and celebrate life at a comedy show or a really nice restaurant in the heart of the city.

Nonetheless, a day with your girls is always guaranteed to be a good time; celebrating friendship with ladies who support you is just as important as celebrating romantic relationships.

 

Guys: Bar-Hop in The City

You may have missed the Wizard’s incredible win (120-98) over Oklahoma City Thunder (#dcrising) to kick off your Singles Awareness Day festivities but in the meantime, you can definitely enjoy the hype. Many bars throughout the city including Bar Rouge, Cotton & Reed, and Service Bar are all having great drink deals for anyone embracing the single life.

 

Anyone: Reconnect With Or Start a Hobby

Remember that sketch book you bought a few months back? That instrument you played in college and haven’t touched in the last few years? Well, let today be the day that you devote some time to an old hobby and rekindle your love for it. If life has kept you so busy that you don’t even have a hobby to reconnect with, use this day to start a new one. Self-love is the best love and it is important to have something that just alleviates the stressors of life.

 

Bonus:

Whatever the hell you want!

Listen, no one knows what the future may bring; cease the opportunity today to treat yourself however you see fit and enjoy the journey of singleness as there is truly nothing like it. (Plus you never know, you might be on cupid’s radar for next year.)

Xoxo

Britt Bunn

Click to comment

5 Gifts Your Boyfriend Will Appreciate for Valentine’s Day

So, Valentine’s Day is here and you still haven’t figured out the perfect gift to get your man, but don’t worry– we’ve got you covered. Here is a quick list to help you put together a quick yet meaningful gift!

 

1. Couples Massage

Generally, women tend to pamper themselves more than men. As a result, it’s usually us who get massages. So why not bring your man along? He’ll appreciate it! There’s nothing like a good hour or two of peace and relaxation. Plus, he’ll get to do it with you by his side.

 

2. Mini Get-Away

You don’t have to book anything crazy, but check Groupon out to see what cool deals they have going on. Chances are, you’ll be able to find a nice place for the night for under $100. It’s always nice to get out, even if it’s somewhere local.

3. Go Hiking

Bonding with your partner should be fun, and what better way than to get out into nature and get a good workout in while you’re at it. Throw in a nice romantic lunch by packing a light blanket and some good ole home cooking.

 4. Go to an Event

Check the DC Nights App (available in iTunes and Google Play) or your local listings to see what events are going on. You might be able to book tickets to a nice concert. Then you and your bae can get all dressed up and fabulous for the night! (You’ll also be able to get a few nice flicks in for the gram).

 

 

5. Traditional Movie and Dinner

Call it old school, but who doesn’t like delicious food topped off with a good movie? Make reservations to a cool new place you two haven’t been to before, (but make sure they offer food that your partner likes). Then check what movies are out and book the tickets in advance. Your man will be shocked to see how great your planning skills are. After all, men aren’t the only ones who can be charming.

One of these suggestions will be sure to please your significant other. It will be a memorable day that you two will never forget! Have fun planning, and Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

Click to comment

The Love Jones Cafe: A Welcomed Departure From Typical DC Nightlife

The Love Jones Cafe returned and if you weren’t in the building, then you missed out on a special evening. Presented by DCWKLY and the DCNIGHTS App, held at the swanky SAX Lounge, the Love Jones Cafe was a sophisticated soirée and a welcome departure from the typical nightlife scene here in DC.

The night began with El Lambert and The Band crooning guest with a variety of throwback and current R&B jams while guests were also treated to complimentary DeLeón Tequila and MtnDew Black Label cocktails and excellent service and bites by the SAX crew. Elegantly lit, the vibe in the house was palpable. Once the panel discussion began, let’s just say no topic was off limits.

Moderated and hosted by “The Massive Host” King Flexxa, the panel comprised of author and activist Tony Lewis, Jr, relationship blogger Diamond Mitchell, and the Duncan’s, Alfred and Sherrell, who were famously engaged and married all within 24 hours (Forever Duncan). Their insight was particularly insightful, engaging, and at times, hilarious. From the idea that reality TV has set unrealistic expectations for relationships to the “Netflix and chill”/”Hulu and Do You” generation, each panelist was able to provide personal stories as a backdrop for each topic discussed. And just like the movie, poet and spoken word artist Mr. Poetic Rock Star treated the crowd to his brand of word play.

I even gained some valuable information on love and relationships that I hadn’t even considered before. The predominantly female crowd laughed, cheered and at times added their own input for a lively and unforgettable evening. Fellas, you need to make sure you are in the building for the next Love Jones Cafe: not only was an ample amount of knowledge dropped, you could not deny the ladies showed out and filled the room with their beauty and radiance.

 

I leave you with some gems from the evening. Be sure to keep a look out for the next installment of the Love Jones Cafe, February 28th. Be there.

On trust:

We should grow together, but you shouldn’t want your spouse to change your whole vibe for you –Tony Lewis, Jr.

There are certain thing you are not going to do if your intentions are pure. –Diamond Mitchell

If I tell you and you don’t do it, then we have issues.– Alfred Duncan

On Social Media:

I was in a relationship with my husband before we were in a relationship, so when he posted that picture I knew we were in a relationship.– Sherrell Duncan

It serves as validation because we are going public. — Diamond Mitchell

On moving on from past relationships:

In relationships and in life we are the sum of our experiences. You’ve got to learn from what you’ve been through.–Tony Lewis, Jr.

The hardest thing to do is self reflect and to own up to the thing that you did in the relationship.–Sherrell Duncan

Medicate each other with love.– Alfred Duncan

If you don’t feel confident in your decision making, you won’t feel confident in the one you picked.–Diamond Mitchell

On falling in love with potential:

If we are not speaking to the potential (of the other person) then we are really doing a disservice.–Tony Lewis, Jr.

Potential expires very quickly. — Diamond Mitchell

He’s pouring into me and I’m pouring into him.– Sherrell Duncan

Check out the rest of the pictures from 1.24.17 edition of The Love Jones Cafe here!

Click to comment

How To: Be Single (Because it Doesn’t Have to Suck)

Disclaimer: If you’re not interested in a serious relationship, this article isn’t for you.

Now that I have your attention, let me begin by saying, I don’t believe that being single is the worst thing in the world. In fact, it can be great depending on your stage in life. Second, as you read this please do not judge me.

Not too long ago I was the “bitter friend” that men warn their girl about. I wasn’t the bitter friend to the extent portrayed in black film, but a more subtle version. You know, the one who’s been hurt one too many times, so in an effort to prevent her friend from experiencing that same disappointment makes it her duty to point out when her girl’s man “ain’t no good” and it’s time to just “leave that boy alone”. I’m sorry guys, but every woman needs a bitter friend…it helps give a different perspective (i.e. creates balance). Thankfully I’ve grown. I’m no longer the bitter one. In fact, going into this New Year I’m actually excited to be single – or at the most, I’m content.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Step 1: Embrace Being Single

Different seasons are meant to bring different lessons and help us grow in some way. Going through a “season of singleness” is a great time to really focus on your goals, reflect on what you want in life and in a partner, and strengthen the relationships you already have.

Being single is not a death sentence or a punishment; once you get that through your head, it won’t suck as much.

Step 2: Just Say No to the “No Goods”

2016, relationship-wise, was a bust for me.  Why? Because I attract “no-goods”. Those who have no empathy for people’s time and/or don’t want commitment, and/or want a side chick, and/or want a regular booty call, and/or got me all the way [insert four letter word rhyming with ducked] up. I can keep going, but for the sake of this post I’ll leave there. Now, a “no good” are those who are simply just that…no good. No good for a serious relationship because they “aren’t looking for that right now,” no good because they “don’t believe in titles,” etc. We’ve all experienced a “no good”. Getting back on track, 2016 brought an overwhelming amount of “no goods” into my personal space. So many, that going into 2017 I’ve made a personal promise to myself that I’d rather be single and happy than deal with a “no good” and be confused/frustrated/disappointed.

It’s not hard to identify a “no good.” They will tell you and give you signs in a very short amount of time. These signs are called “red flags” and you need to listen to them because as previously mentioned “no goods” are simply that…no good.

Step 2.5: Date With Purpose

We live in a time where people don’t date with purpose anymore. They date to date. If you want a serious relationship, you need to approach dating like you would approach a job opportunity. When you are looking for a new job, you search through available options, click the one that interests you, read through the requirements and expectations to see if it’s a good fit, apply, followed by the interview process. You see how this relates to dating? If not, let me break it down. When you find someone you are interested in, you feel them out, see if they’re a good fit, and then you apply for that “wifey/zaddy” position. Stop just dating someone because it’s “cuffing season” or (ladies) because you’re hungry. Stop it. It’s a waste of your precious time that you could be using elsewhere.

Step 3: Write Down Your Goals & Execute

What are your hobbies or things you’d like to accomplish in this next year? Instead of “finding someone”, why not explore your gift(s) and get some stuff done? You can’t force the universe to deliver your perfect mate to your front door. Stop obsessing over finding your soul mate and find yourself. Tap into your talents and use them to help better the world and those around you.

Step 4: Pray for Contentment

Pray to your higher power for contentment during your season of singleness. When you start getting anxious for affection, you’ll see yourself contemplating reaching out to “no goods” and old flings. Stay away from the “no goods” at all cost, they just aren’t worth it. Plus, they’re annoying.

When you experience moments of frustration from being by yourself, use that time to remember that there is someone out there for everyone and your person will come when the time is right.

 

Step 5: Stop Obsessing and Let the Universe do its Thing

As I said before, there is someone out there for everyone; stop worrying yourself. If you are single, take it as a blessing and opportunity to get yourself in order for when that person does come along, and you both flourish together.

Relax, do you, and let the universe do the work.

Click to comment

Keeping Casual Sex, Casual

There are times in our lives when we don’t want the responsibility and dedication of a relationship, but still have the desire to be sexual. What’s usually the solution to that problem? Casual sex. Known in some social circles as a f*ck buddy. While having casual sex may not be the most traditional form of intimacy, there are still guidelines on keeping it casual; business casual if you will.

Commitment? Nope. There will be none of that when you lay down with each other. Be sure to get up quickly once it’s all said and done. You and your buddy should have an understanding of how things will go before the whip cream comes out.  Schedule your appointments in advance if it works better for the two of you. (Ex: Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday at 7pm). Oh, and never feel obligated to be available since they are there to serve one purpose only.

Practice. Practice makes perfect. Use the experiences with your buddy to develop your skills for the person you may end up with in the future. Let loose and figure out positions you like most, as well as try the things you won’t do with just anyone. Might as well get all you can out of the deal, right? Correct.

No Emotions Allowed. Check your emotions at the door. Yes, sex can lead to unwarranted emotions but that’s if you allow it. Don’t lay up and gaze into each other’s eyes after the deed is done. Don’t cuddle and give neck kisses, and no nightcaps! Ever. Think of it as a shopping spree; you go in, splurge a little, and leave with a smile and a full bag (or empty bag lol). Leave the pet names like babe and pooh bear at home. You have to be able to cut all ties if you ever decide to become serious with someone else down the road. Keep these key things in mind the next time your buddy sends the “when imma see you?” text.

Click to comment

Single Bells: Why Being Uncoupled During the Holidays Is So Lit

Ah yes, another holiday season is upon us. The city is draped in lights, families are coming together, differences are being put aside; the times of warm feelings of love and good cheer we get to experience once more. For years, the holidays have catered to couples – all snuggled up, having their love to keep them warm and all that jazz. Being bae-less was considered taboo and assumed that those who didn’t have that special someone was somewhere in their house pigging out on ice cream listening to “What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas”, crying silent tears. Well WRONG! This year is the year of the single one. The year of flourishing in your freedom, the time where you can feel good about not having to check in with anyone or ask permission to do anything you feel like. But the coolest thing about being single on the holidays is that those warm feelings I was talking about earlier – you get to experience them with anyone of your choosing. All this holiday love you have inside to share doesn’t have to be limited to just one. This and the others that I’ll give are why being single during the holidays is so clutch.

Not Having to Worry About Buying a Present

Flourishing in your freedom also includes on the financial side of things. Yes, you don’t have to pine about getting the perfect gift for your lady or gent. That scrilla can stay right in your pocket for more important things like finding the perfect ugly sweater for that party next week or, you know, that common thing of getting gifts for your family.

The Possibilities of Holiday Hook-Ups are Endless

There’s no better time to spread all that “cheer” than during the holidays. If being single wasn’t cool for the holidays, then we wouldn’t have such timeless songs as “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and “Let It Snow” (SN: You can’t tell me “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” isn’t the best holiday hookup song or hookup song period) or traditions like kissing underneath the mistletoe or as soon as the clock strikes 12 on New Year’s Eve. Sure, you can have the same experience being booed up, but there is something about being single that can make it more memorable.

Solitude Is Golden

At your holiday event, whenever you’re ready to go, you can just go. You don’t have wait for your significant other to be done with a conversation with that friend, you really don’t care for, that’s gone two hours too long. Or for that holiday party that’s so dead, it’s RIP, you can bid your adieu with the quickness.

On a serious note though, another cool thing about alone time, and one that I’ve appreciated, is that you can work on building a better you. You can reflect on the year that is coming to an end – your triumphs, your failures, accomplishments, setbacks, friends you’ve gained, friends you’ve lost, things that you did great, things that you can do better and get that all together so that 2017 can be an awesome year for you; Lord knows 2016 was a doozy! As another Christmas song goes, “Nobody ought to be all alone on Christmas”, but if you are, appreciate the time as it too shall pass and maybe the next holiday go round, you may find yourself on the “other side”. Cheers!

Click to comment
To Top