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Texting Isn’t Dating

Dating + Relationships

Texting Isn’t Dating

Written By Tyra Wilkes

PSA: Just because we’ve exchanged a few texts, perhaps even Facetimed for a bit, it does not constitute as dating. We don’t date. We don’t talk. You don’t have the right to claim me amongst your friends when my name comes up.

(To simplify things, we’re going to agree that talking and dating are the same. In this article at least.)

Now that we’ve cleared that up. I’ll dive right in.

If you ask me, men have this territorial quality to them that I’ll never understand. If I ask how your day went, or show interest in what book you’re reading, we’re now talking? Even if we’ve never been out together and I barely know a thing about your life, you feel it’s appropriate to publicly announce that we have subtle ties to each other? Interesting. But hey, no one asked me.

Unfortunately in 2016 people don’t date anymore. No one wants the real thing. By real I’m referring to actual emotions; the kind where your presence makes me nervous but calm at the same time, waking up and praying for someone, thinking of them before yourself, empathy, that restless love; restless because I’m replaying our happiest moments in my head, I’m drowning in your affection, not heartache, love. That kind. We want the social media thing. By social media thing I’m referring to surfaced love; likes and relationship goals. Who cares if you’ve known me twelve minutes, you’re cool and everyone seems to know you, so I’m going to quickly raise my hand and claim you before anyone else can and we’ll work on the rest later.

I’m the kind of girl that loves the process. Is the love for the process extinct? You know, sketching out the garment, frolicing the fashion district for fabric swatches, piecing together the pattern, and building up the excitement for when you finally see your finished product? The product that you’ve put your all into, dreamt about, saw the sample and made edits to. Is that over? If it is, please leave me isolated with a bottle(s) of wine and a straw while I sulk.

The moral of this rant is that texting is not the same as dating. Texting is texting. Texting means we entertain each other’s conversation from time to time and I think you’re a decent person. Texting means I see you often, and I’d rather not make it awkward when we bump into each other so I’ll respond from time to time. Texting means we aren’t dating, we’re texting.

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(half writer/half character) I'm a journalist- sometimes relationship columnist- sometimes poet- and most importantly, editor for DCWKLY. Curating each [peace] with [love] from my living room floor.

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