The word of the day is potential.
Before we get started, the simple definition of potential is “capable of being something in the future.”
Ladies, it’s usually us who fall for our lover’s potential. We start dating a guy, things get a little serious, and you start falling in love….with who he could be. Now I’m not saying that you must have it all on day one, however, know the difference between actual potential and unrealistic suppositions.
Falling for potential is easier than you may think because most times it’s led by our own expectations, and how we imagine things will be in the long run. We tend to base our happiness on what we hope for instead of the reality of what is. Dreaming is great, don’t get me wrong. Rooting for someone and pushing them to be all you know they can be is what you should do as a partner. However, part of being an adult is taking heed to someone’s character and what they’ve shown you.
I understand the urge to push your partner and encourage them to be better; not letting them sleep if they’ve only give 98%, as we all should, but also accept them for who they have shown you that they are. Make a clear separation to be sure you aren’t confusing the life that you hope for, with the life that you’re living.
If you find yourself saying, “he would be so perfect if he just…” or “if he wouldn’t do that we would be so good,” you aren’t accepting him for who he is. You’re trying to make him into what you hope he will be.
Don’t be the one to fall in love with the potential of who he could be in the future, when he has shown you his true colors in the present moment.
Everyone has the ability to become something in the future; that’s what potential is. Don’t fall for that ability. Love who you’re with for who they are today, and not who you think they could be tomorrow.